yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
