Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
