tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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