i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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