Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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