I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
