xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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