Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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