What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
