your thong is hanging out like whoa
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
