why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize