Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Randomize
