when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
