He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
