8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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