I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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