I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
