Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize