My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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