soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
