I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Houston, we have a squirter
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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