there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
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