Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
