Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she peed on how many people?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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