I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
