You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
