i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Barsexuality is the new black.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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