Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
zippers are such a cool invention
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
