Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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