just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
