Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
