I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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