Do you still have your period?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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