There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
This girl is more easily done than said...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
