She said her name was "party"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
These tits shall not be calmed
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize