nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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