sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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