dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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