I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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