You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
