he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Who died my cat blue again?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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