my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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