mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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