This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
