Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He uses pillows to masturbate.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
