im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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