This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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