so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
