how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
