Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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