people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
