I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
