I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
