I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
