Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize