I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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