Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
