My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
