No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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