i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize