My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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