i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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