I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
