The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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