I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
