So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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