I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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