I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
