Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
