I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
