i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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