I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
