He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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