you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
