There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
